Crossfit and Tears

I was going to blog last night about our WOD for yesterday but I just couldn’t get past my emotions. I know that I am all laughs and sarcasm most days but yesterday was different. Yesterday meant more to me that I can adequately describe. Without going into a long story of my craziness the last couple of months I will just say that I am in pain 24 hours a day. I have severe nerve pain from my knee’s down. My feet are either numb or on fire every single minute. I have balance issues and recently speech issues. Now, I don’t need anyone commenting on what they think I have..I know what I have… I don’t need or want that okay? Just support me.. that’s all I ask. As anyone with chronic, never ending pain knows it is mentally and physically exhausting. Each day is a fight to either feel sorry for myself or “suck it up” as my mom says. Every morning I think “I wonder what our WOD is for the day?” and that is one thing gets me up and moving. If only to tell my body “F U!!”
So, Yesterday the strength portion of our WOD was Front Rack Reverse Lunges and 60 seconds of Double Under Practice. My first set of FR RL’s was with the bar only. I just wanted to see how it felt to have weight on. To my surprise I felt strong and the 35 lb bar was no problemo. I steady added weight until the last set and I had 55 lbs. Now, I know that doesn’t seem like much to those of you who are crazy strong but this was the very first time I had done this particular exercise. I ran to my coach and begged for one more set. I added 5′s to each side for 65 lbs total. I had to get 8-10 reps for it to count. He came over and stood in front of me to make sure I was lunging correctly and the dandiest thing happened. I not only did the weight but I did 8 reps with minimal struggle. John, weightlifting coach extraordinaire, smiled and said some choice words that made me smile and want to cry at the same time. I did it. I could have done more. Knowing that I beat myself.. I beat my pain.. if only for a minute made me feel invincible. I am so thankful for Crossfit because I think God put it in my path at just the right time. I need to feel that way especially in the wave of chaos that I am in right now. I also saw a video from Barbell Shrugged that truly explains how powerful crossfit really is. I dare you to watch it and not feel moved.